Bethany Beck

My heart made a choice today, Lord,
As it wept over all that’s unknown.
It wanted to kick against the pricks,
It wanted its thorns to leave it alone.
It spoke through great teardrops for mercies anew,
In that deep, secret place which You only view:

“I wish to know the reason, I want to know ‘How long?’
My lips don’t feel like singing, but,
Be, O Lord, my Song.
I ache to be free from what binds me, to live without this pain, but,
Be, O Lord, my Rainbow, even in this rain.
I want to sulk in sorrow, to spurn what is so hard, but,
Be, O Lord, my Joy, however dealt my cards.
You hear my heart’s desires, You know for what I yearn.
But, Lord, I choose to yield this, to listen and to learn.”

And when my heart unloaded, comfort soothed each part,
Because I heard Him whisper, You are My work of art.
And somehow when He said this, I knew I’d be alright,
For as I fresh surrendered, my burden became light.

“Then take this empty shell, my Lord. Create Your work of art.
I fear not what could shatter me, when You hold tight my heart.
My life is safe within Your grip, my world rests in Your hands.
If I could see Your thoughts towards me, they’re endless as the sands.

“No fond desires must be met, or hoped for dreams come true.
I’ll gladly do without all else, if all means losing You.
But I am weak and helpless, Lord, and cannot be so brave,
Unless You are my Strength and Help, my Rock amidst the waves.
I humbly ask for heart’s desire, yet from now until the end,
I choose to leave it all with You – my Keeper and my Friend.”

Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee. For Thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. (Psalm 116:7,8)

Bethany Beck is a pastor’s daughter with a heart for mentoring other young women to love and live for Christ. You can find her at mylongingsoul.com.