“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18)
You’re right, if you accept someone “the way they are” they may never change. But you’ll not get them to change by not accepting them either. In fact, there’s less chance they’ll change if you nag them.
Let go and let God. Only He can author true and lasting change in anyone. Until that miraculous event occurs, let His peace rule in your heart and in your home. If nothing else changes, do your part to change the atmosphere you live in to one of peace. Focus less on your will being done and more on things being the way God wants them to be … in you especially.